Always
by wackyjacqs
Summary: There are times in life when we have to lose someone close to us. However, there will always be someone else waiting nearby to help pick up the pieces. Written for 'National Hugging Day' (21 January). Missing scene for 'Threads'.


**A/N: This has been lying on my computer for more than a year, so I've decided to tidy it up a little bit. This is what I get up to when I'm bored on my work break. **

**Written in honor of 'National Hugging Day', which is today (21 January). A missing scene from S8 'Threads'. Oneshot.**

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**Always**

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Sam hiccupped as the latest round of tears stopped. Taking a breath, she tried to calm herself down as she felt the dizziness creep back in and the edges of shock begin to settle. Sitting on the edge of the small couch, she looked around in a daze, noticing the crumpled up tissues and heavy, bitter silence that filled the room.

She had been strong all morning - and part of the afternoon - when she had needed to be. She had stood tall at her father's memorial service; squared her shoulders as the three volleys echoed across the sky and closed her eyes to stop the tears from spilling over as the opening notes of Taps echoed around the grave site.

Following the service, there had been a small wake and Sam had spent most of the time meeting and greeting the guests, smiling politely when they offered condolences and pretending to be interested in their little anecdotes of her father, when really all she wanted to do was go home and remember her father alone.

She had left her brother and his family at the airport once the wake had finished and after a short phone call to the base, spoke to the General and told him that she was holding up okay and was making her way home for the evening.

At the time, she thought being alone was the best option – there would be no one to bother her, no one to stir up old memories and no one to remind her of what she had just lost. Now, however, after sitting alone for a couple of hours, she realized it was one of the biggest mistakes she could have made.

There was nothing for her to do _but_ think. About anything and everything.

From her early days at the Stargate Program when she had been a wide-eyed, enthusiastic Captain who dared to challenge her black ops-trained Commanding Officer to an armwrestle; to now, a Lieutenant Colonel, entrusted to lead the flagship team following the departure of said black ops-trained Colonel-turned-General O'Neill.

Over the years, she had lost her naivety with the job. On more than one occasion, she had defied orders and followed others that she hadn't wanted to. She had watched innocent people being tortured and killed off-world and experienced the devastation that rocked the SGC every time one of their own lost their life because of the job.

There was Kawalsky, Jolinar, Sha're, Martouf.

Narim, Joe Faxon, Drey'auc, Skaara and the Abydonians.

Janet.

And now, her father, Jacob Carter and his symbiote Selmak.

Every time Sam had been stung by their loss and mourned their death. Once the pain subsided, it made her more determined to honor their sacrifice, defeat the Goa'uld and bring peace to the galaxy.

That objective had now been achieved; yet Sam felt anything_ but _the peace and overwhelming sense of joy that she should.

She had honored their lives, as she swore to do, but as she sat alone in her darkened front room, she was reminded of just how alone she really was - how much of a sacrifice _she_ had made for the job as well.

Her only remaining blood-relative was more than one thousand miles away and their relationship was back to the tempestuous mess it had been years earlier. Similarly, her other family – the one who had stood and lived their lives alongside her over the past eight years – were also going to be leaving her soon.

Daniel was getting ready to head to Atlantis and Teal'c was leaving to help the Free Jaffa. And Jack... the General?

Sam felt the lump grow in her throat as she thought of him – even though he was no longer hers to think about.

_Hell, he was never hers to think about,_ she thought bitterly.

Now though… now it was different. Now he was being promoted to Washington, and he had Kerry.

As Sam reached for another tissue, she knew it was her own fault. Over the years, the balance of the relationship had shifted; it had moved from teammates to friends to something... _more_.

And then it had gone wrong in an instant. She had met Pete, and because the General-then-Colonel, had appeared indifferent to her relationship, she continued to see Pete. Within the year, she had found herself engaged to the cop from Denver and was planning the supposed wedding of her dreams.

Sam snorted at the irony.

_She was planning the wedding of her dreams - and the man of her dreams wasn't even in the picture. _

Sniffing loudly, Sam crumpled the tissue in her hand and felt guilt course through her. She had crumpled Pete's heart, just like she had with the tissue, just one day previously.

They had met at the house and Sam had apologized as she gave the ring back. Realistically, she had known from the beginning that the relationship was never going to work; not while she was still thinking of another man. Her and Pete maybe could have worked at the relationship, but Sam didn't want to - because she hadn't been willing to give _him _up.

Her decision had only served to mess everything up.

Work.

Family.

_Love._

Sam felt her eyes burning as she thought of everything she had achieved over the past eight years, compared to everything that she wanted now. Before she could stop them, tears spilled onto her cheeks once more and she pulled the blanket resting over her shoulders tighter.

She wasn't sure how long she had been crying when she heard the feather-light knock on the front door. Despite wallowing in her own misery and loneliness, she didn't particularly want to see anyone; especially when she didn't need a mirror to see how awful she really looked.

The knocking continued, but remained gentle in its persistence.

As Sam dragged herself to her feet, she let the blanket and tissues fall to the ground and as she made her way slowly down the hall, she thought of a dozen different excuses to warn off her unexpected visitor.

When she opened the door however, any thought she had - coherent or otherwise - flew out of her mind.

Her red, puffy eyes rested on a pair of soft, pain-filled, regret-filled chocolate brown eyes. As their gazes remained locked, Sam slowly began to realize that she actually didn't need to say anything. Neither did he.

In one smooth action, Sam moved back from the door as Jack stepped over the threshold. He had just closed the door behind him when Sam crumpled and she was in his arms in an instant.

He held her silently as she cried. He didn't whisper soft words in her ear, but he didn't need to. He was just there for her and being what she needed him to be.

And then it struck her like a zat blast.

_He_ was what she needed. He was her work. He was her family. He was her _love_.

He always had been and he always would be.

Eventually the tears stopped and after breathing in Jack's scent one final time, Sam pulled back. She watched as the man in front of her reached around and took her left hand in his. Bringing it up to his chest, Jack studied her ring finger, before running his thumb over where a diamond ring should have been sitting.

"It's gone. I'm so sorry," she whispered brokenly.

Jack's eyes snapped to Sam's at her admission.

"I know. Me too," he replied just as quietly.

As they held each other's gaze, Jack watched her digest his words - and the hidden conversation underneath.

_Pete wasn't the only one who was gone. Kerry was too._

Recognition flashed through Sam's eyes.

A soft sigh of relief escaped her and she'd whispered the question before she could stop. "Stay?"

Jack lifted Sam's hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her bare ring finger. "Always."


End file.
